I’ve really been struggling the past few months with depression.  I’ve been taking medication which helps but some days have still been very hard to face.  Some nights I don’t sleep because my mind races non stop.  There really is nothing more frustrating that knowing I am a capable person and waking up questioning that to a point I can’t even shower and get dressed, do the grocery shopping, or even just get food on the table at night – just function like a normal person.

I’ve been working hard at getting better but at times it’s hard to tell if I am.  In some ways I know it’s hard for me to see because even when I can get up and get dressed, I expect so much more from myself and so don’t see the little improvements.  Last night, I stayed up way past midnight reading a book I just couldn’t put down. It has been way too long since I’ve done so.  Even though I woke up exhausted I also woke up with a smile on my face because part of my battle with depression is that I no longer do things I enjoy.  I realized that enjoying a book so much I could not put it down is a good sign.

I know it doesn’t seem like a huge deal but it was to me.  It was a sign i needed to let me know I am in deed making progress.